It's closed. Lapland New Forest, otherwise known as Crapland or Blunderland, has shut up shop and gone home.
Which is a great shame, really. Because there's nothing we need more at the moment than a good long laugh at something truly, craply, British. A melting ice rink, dispirited elves, two mangy huskies and a Santa's grotto ruined by chavvy violence - just the thing to take the kids to of a winter weekend and forget those credit crunch blues.
Sorry we missed you, Crapland.